So I was watching the final episode of Weeds the other night and they were about to board a plane. Before boarding one of the characters, played by Richard Dryfuss, started discussing his plan on how to avoid someone sitting beside him on a plane. His technique was to write Jesus on his hat, that way a passenger would assume he’d talk religion the entire way.
I’m not a big plane converser. I don’t mind talking but I’d rather not. I don’t necessarily have a tactic. Most people tell me that until I smile I look mean. I think my tactic is too mean-mug. I don’t growl or anything but I appear unfriendly. There’s been a few times when some unassuming stranger breaks my mug and forces me to talk. I just think relaxing is the best thing to do while flying.
As much as I like to travel I still get anxious with each flight. To not be rude here are a few avoidance tips:
1. Sleep – Strangers can’t talk to you if you’re sleeping. If the stranger talks to you as soon as they sit down make sure you yawn a lot.
2. Eat Onions – Who wants to smell onion breath for hours. Grab yourself a bag of Funyuns before boarding. Also works with garlic.
3. Read – It’s all about looking busy. You will have a few strangers that will use your book as a reason to strike up a conversation but 70% of the time reading will work.
4. Listen – Keep your earphones on! It doesn’t matter how many times the stranger tries to talk to you do not remove your earplugs. Pretty soon the stranger will get tired of you saying “huh.”
5. Talk – Talkers hate talkers because they like to dominate the conversation. Out talk the talker until the talker gives up!
Follow these tips and you’ll have a peaceful trip. Unless you’re the talker!
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